“What is a Minimony?”

What you want is best for you. You will be equally married whether you have an elopement, a Minimony, a Microwedding, or a formal wedding.

Traditionally, an elopement meant getting married without telling anyone. It meant one couple, one marriage license, and one legally authorized officiant: no guests, no photographer. Usually an elopement does not require much planning: Just choosing a venue and an officiant. Most people these days do hire a professional photographer because everyone will want to see pictures!

A Minimony is a 21^st century concept created by The Knot. As discussed above, a Minimony can be a legal wedding, typically with a few guests, a professional photographer, an officiant, and a venue (the site for your ceremony). A Minimony requires a little advance planning, such as inviting guests (via email? phone call?) and arranging for wedding professionals.

A Microwedding is only slightly more involved than a Minimony. A Microwedding is always a legal marriage ceremony. Your guest list may be up to 50 guests (nearly always sent an invitation by snail mail), a professional photographer, possibly a professional videographer, probably a professional DJ for music, an officiant, and a venue. A formal reception is unlikely, but possible.

A formal wedding (traditionally) is the most complex and time-consuming event to organize. You may feel that you need the help of a professional wedding planner. Or you may feel as if you have a second job. Wedding planning may begin a year in advance, or maybe as soon as you get engaged.

Your guest count will likely be high; for guests who will be arriving singly or as a couple, etiquette requires a snail mailed invitation. A wedding cake, for which a tasting will be needed, is expected. Special wedding clothes (a wedding gown, a tuxedo) for the couple are usual. Honor attendants (maid[s] / matron[s] of honor, best man / men), wedding attendants (bridesmaids, groomsmen, [possibly junior bridesmaids and / or junior groomsmen,] flower girls, ring bearers) all have to be asked and a gift chosen for each of them. Of course, you may decide not to have a wedding party at all; just you and your beloved standing up.

Did I mention flowers? Or music? Or rings? Or coordinated (rented?) clothes for your attendants? Or a rehearsal if each of you have more than two attendants?

Details, details. I am not trying to discourage you! Just to set your expectations appropriately.

Yes, if you want your Minimony to be your legal wedding!

The word “wedding” means that you must give your marriage license to your officiant before your Minimony; after your Minimony you are legally married.

There are some words that can be used only during a legal wedding. “Bride”, “Groom”, “Wife”, “Husband”, “Marry”, “Married”, “Matrimony”. They are legal wedding words only.

If you don’t want your Minimony to be a legal wedding, see commitment ceremony, below.

As soon as the sentence “I now pronounce you …” leaves my mouth you’re legally married. Period.

I do have to file your marriage license so that there will be a legal record of your marriage. Connecticut law prohibits me from giving your license back to you. After the Town Clerk or her assistant does their magic on your completed license, you can get a certified copy as your proof that you’re legally married.

“Commitment” in this context means that you consider yourselves socially or morally joined.

A Minimony at which you have not given your officiant your marriage license has no legal standing. You are not married!

Please see the list of wedding words that are legally not allowed at a commitment ceremony.

If you want to have your Minimony in a Connecticut State Park or neighborhood park, yes.

If you have your Minimony in a private space, such as a rented hall or in your home, then no.

Connecticut State Parks are free for all Connecticut residents, making them popular places for Minimonies. The CT DEEP (Connecticut Department of Energy and Environmental Protection), which oversees Connecticut State Parks, is responsible for when the State Parks will be open, what each one’s capacity is, and what percentage of that capacity is considered to be the maximum allowed during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The DEEP insists that Minimonies and other gatherings must not interfere with the Connecticut public’s use of the Connecticut State Parks. There are a few exceptions. Please talk with me about your plans. Although I am not a DEEP official, I can warn you about circumstances that are known to arise.

You could have your Minimony in your back yard or in a friend’s back yard. Minimonies are often held outdoors, which makes a lot of details easier.

A Minimony without guests would be an elopement. You can include up to a dozen or so guests at your Minimony if space allows. Local rules for physical distancing must be followed by your guests.

A Minimony is typically, but not necessarily, followed by a Sequel Wedding.

One example of a Minimony and a Sequel Wedding: In September of 2019 I officiated at T.C. and J.T.’s Minimony Commitment Ceremony. (To protect their identities their names are not being used.) T.C. had been married previously and was having legal trouble getting divorced. She and J.T. were going to have a baby and they wanted to show that they were committed to being a family. In 2020 T.C.’s divorce finally came through; their Sequel Wedding, their legal wedding, will be held in June.

Another example Sequel Wedding: S.S and M.B. wanted to celebrate their 25^th wedding anniversary with a vow renewal, so they had their Sequel Wedding in the same park where they’d eloped. This time they had their children and grandchildren with them to honor their 25 years of marriage.

There is so much to say about Sequel Weddings that they have their own Sequel Wedding Page. Please take a look for some important details!

Impossible. Connecticut law requires some kind of wedding ceremony, even if it is very brief.

A Minimony does not have to be a legal wedding, as explained as a Commitment Minimony, above. Getting married is having a wedding. Connecticut law requires that a couple get a marriage license and have a marriage ceremony to be legally married. Connecticut does not have a “common law marriage” statute.

Whether you elope, have a Minimony, a Microwedding, or a traditional wedding, in Connecticut you must get a marriage license and have a marriage ceremony performed by an officiant legally authorized to marry you in order to be legally married.

It would be a pleasure to help you!

You’re always welcome to call me at 860-543-2334. Over the years I’ve officiated at dozens of Minimonies (before the term “Minimony” was invented).

There is never a cost or obligation to call and chat! My only objective is to help couples during this extraordinary time.

Karen from Innovast Digital Marketing suggested that I create a helpful Q&A website dedicated to Minimonies rather than just add a new phrase to my website.

A big “Thank you!” to Karen for her inspiration!